We return for our final installment of our series on Wonderful Convention, aka WonderCon.
We will begin our adventure with Strange Things; yes, things that are strange even for Wondercon.
Strange Things
Leela! L-E-E-L-A, Leela! –Zapp Brannigan.
On Futurama, Leela looks okay. In real life, not so much.
What’s on TV?
This TV girl also plays VHS tapes. Oldie but goodie, I suppose.
Maybe she really looks like that.
This computer monitor girl’s head is an old-fashioned CRT monitor from ancient times.
Ummmm, okay…..
The gesture being made by this soldier typically indicates that the person performing the gesture desires to perform cunnilingus on the person the gesture is directed towards. Also: boobies.
I’m pretty sure that’s Chris Farley.
That girl is either very brave or very stupid.
Now that’s a big hat!
Despite being a Wizard, Big Hat Logan is on the phone. Sad. However, Xanthous King, Jeremiah, famous pyromancer, looks like he has a penis head. Nice.
Radioactive man?
This fellow seems to have a mask that allows him to breathe radioactive air. At any rate, the shopping bag kinda ruins the look.
A green lily.
Why is Lily green? Only ogres and frogs should be green, amirite? And the Green Goblin. And maybe a few other guys. But not Lily.
That’s one dedicated cosplayer.
This fellow spent A LOT of time building a wagon that is lightweight enough and well-balanced enough for his little dog to pull. Doesn’t seem like something a scary pirate would do, but there you go.
These costumes took balls to create.
These cosplayers really look like the original characters in Spaceballs. Did they have to audition to be friends with each other?
Ummmm, okay.
Nothing phallic going on here. Nope, nothing at all. Move along.
Puppet Mayhem.
Can a guy get girls as a puppeteer? Like, in the middle of a date, can he start using his hand like a puppet and make suggestive comments, then blame the hand-puppet? Can he make fisting jokes and get away with it? Many, many questions here.
Yeah, but who’s the girl?
These cosplayers are from Castle Crashers. But if you Google the image, a lot of folks think they are parodies of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Everyone sees the world through their own lens, I guess.
Why?
Descendent of the proud and savage wolf, this dog carries his shame with stoicism and a hint of sadness.
Use of deadly fruit prohibited.
I don’t know the banana reference. But there is also a girl holding a cooked turkey. So there.
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Enjoy more Strange Things!
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And we have even more Strange Things. 🙂
Things with Weapons
Everyone knows that cosplayer involves violence. And the easiest way to commit violence is with weapons.
Special Forces are special.
In real life, soldiers and the like wear bullet-proof vests. Yeah, those things aren’t made for Special Girl Forces, are they?
Two are better than one, right?
It looks good on bad TV, but, in reality, you can’t shoot straight with a gun in each hand. You have to aim down the barrel so, unless the guns are held right next to each other, you are going to miss. Just sayin’.
See?
This cosplayer helps me make my point. Yeah, it’s better to have an archer protecting your back than a two-fisted pistol-person.
Is that a big gun, or are you just happy to see me?
If I am going to be killed by someone, she should offer me a drink, kill me REALLY dead with an over-sized gun, and enjoy her work. Right?
Maybe this should have been in the Strange Things section.
My first thought was, “That’s one intense period she’s having,”, but the Wolverine-Mickey Mouse telepod accident is better.
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And, if you like weapons, here are a few more.
Jesus Things
I admit that Jesus had a few things going for him: right place at the right time, son of God, catalyst for war and for peace, generally considered a nice guy and a role model. So let’s see how Wonderconners handle it.
Jesus is very tall.
The Christian’s bible does not describe Jesus, and no mention is made of his height. But the average height of skeletons from that period indicate that men were about 5’8″. So these other heroes must be Tom Cruise-size.
Give glory to God. Cuz he doesn’t have enough.
Yeah, basically, these are just nice guys with signs, having a good time at the Con.
Well, he didn’t expect that…
His first thought was, “Holy Mother of God,” then, “Well, maybe I can handle just a little of God’s wrath…”. Also, is that a pole in your pants or…
Everyone had fun at the Con, Man.
He started his day thinking he could convert sinners (“Thou shall not dress up and have fun” is the eleventh commandment) and ended up having a good time. All glory to God!
Okay, this guy is not with them.
Then you get the one guy who doesn’t understand, and the other guy who doesn’t understand, and there is a confrontation. Idiots.
Channeling his inner Jesus.
“Jesus preached the gospel of the kingdom, taught in synagogues, and healed people in Galilee.” Matthew 4:23.
Cool heads prevail.
Apparently, there is a Lake of Fire with no beer. I mean, who is ever going to visit that place? Jeez.
Things with Boobs
You might have noticed a remarkable number of Wonderconners have boobs. Let’s investigate.
Quite a bit of double-sided tape is needed for this costume.
You may show all parts of your breasts except the nipples, for reasons. Unless you are a guy, also for reasons.
Quick: close your eyes and tell us anything about this photograph, except boobs.
There is a method to the madness. You want to defeat her in combat, but you keep getting distracted. You lose, but you don’t care.
There’s a hand-job joke in here somewhere.
If you look closely, and I’m sure you are, you can see the spirit gum holding the costume on her boobs. And you don’t care, do you…?
Things with Butts
There are two sides to every story, and we must get to the bottom of things.
Farther…farther….
Many heroes have butts. In fact, I can’t think of any that don’t. Just another weapon in the arsenal of a hero.
Let’s cut to the chase. I give you WonderButts.
Poses
It’s time to highlight me doing fun things at WonderCon because, why not?
The force is strong. Very strong.
This is me with bunny. You may remember her at the Cat Show and when we had Fun with bunny.
R2D2, times 2.
These remote-controlled R2 units are the perfect height and innocence to take upskirt photographs. At least, that’s where my mind goes.
These are very friendly R2s.
This photograph could have been included in the Things with Boobs sections.
Why do they keep asking us to pose like this?
The R2 is definitely staring. Definitely.
Do the “Trust Christ” and “Trust Jesus” people ever get into fights with each other?
Why do Jedi folks wear hoods? What are they trying to hide?
Smile!
Yeah, I’d like the use the force on their tatooines…
Cross-over time!
Star Wars, Star Trek, what’s the difference? Okay, in the 24th century, all women were small busted. In Star Wars, there were only about seven women in total, and most of those were Jabba’s slaves. So there is that.
Smile!
Yes, this photograph could have been in the Things with Boobs section, too. Boobs.
“Rasha Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy!”
Here we have Han Solo, definitely not shooting first, asking direction to Alderaan to find Princess Leia.
“Take a left turn at Albuquerque.”
He’s not too bright, and we send him on his way.
Definitely not 24th century material.
Time to pose in the Great Outdoors.
Live long and prosper while the force is with you.
Their boobs are touching. That is all.
Oops!
That’s a naughty Star Fleet cadet!
When using the force is fun.
It’s times like this I wish I could use my light saber in public…
Meow!
And this end brings us to the end of our series on WonderCon! I hope you enjoyed it!
We will be back next month with more fun, wacky adventures. See you then!